approaching to the end of 2004

Reflecting upon this year, i have found out that i have changed somehow but how much..... curbing fears isnt really very easy, everydae its a new challenge to curb that fear in me.... somethings r so difficult to put in words...but actions say it all.... i know i shodnt think too much.........but i wanna noe more...

Christmas eve

sometimes, i dun realli like christmas....

It makes me feel so lonely...its like everyone is in pairs or in their group of frens...

Even though i have my own group...the emptiness is still there...

Tt's y i always leave my group.....on tt dae...

it's like e feeling of being alone is so beautiful, but yet sad also

alone u feel urself..when everyone is busy with themselves...

u will noe urself better....but at the same time sinking into this deep hole of saddness that u can never escape at all....

Christmas...wishing u have someone special with u.... but again....christmas n a new year....

leads to a new beginning, a new start N also a new END to end with....

we n e com lab e whole dae again

our life is soooooooooo boring...either researching, homewk or arguin over theories n tactics that's it...i'm nuts

hmmm...somethings to reflect

sometimes i dunno whether m i happy or sad...

y r emotions funny things...to take it hard on urself or let urself go...

i wanna just lift my wings n fly into a safe arms where there is nothing at all to feel

if emotions can torture one, it can also satisfy one...

i wanna a place where there is a void...

it like...mint, let urself go...it will be much better....

emotions...makes one hold on so dearly...but y...

its like on a thin strand of string...once it snaps,it snaps...so hard to piece together again...

hmmm...scary isnt it?emotions control u entirely...

fear what is it? fear of what? fear of fear itself..the feeling of it...

e whole week

sorri abt my not constant updatin, was far too busy.so nw i shall update u with e latest news. Here it goes... from mon to wed, was skl n more skl....had a tough time in doin e ntu challenge... with new problems everydae, tryin to find my role n keep up with e grp....haii, my life is soo boring... next... thurs-tried to play pool with sharon n her grp of frens..glimpse of life is nt easy to see n be accepted...everydae i learnt a new thing just to tell u, i cant play pool veri well, is like i play so many times but still pocket so many white balls n keep missin e target........ Fridae-as usual skl again, ntu thingy is realli takin up my time... something crazy in e mornin though... went to skl in mr leow's car with gabriel...everyone got a little shock when i came down(by e way, me n gabriel r neighbours) at night, caught a movie with e guys..watch e national treasure...it was realli good... saturdae-went out for cip...met a few unwanted pple.. kept disturbing me cant take it lor.. realli pissed me off..pls if u r nt doin for charity with ur heart..get out of my sight...all they do is for money n no morals...watever... after tt went with mao mao to safra todae...tryin to sell candles... saw e one there..dyed his hair red..omg... didnt tok at all, n stuck to gurls e whole time... i realli envy them with their life so enrichin..at least they can turn to something they like n all i'm stuck with is my books e whole life i see them so happy ,i feel alittle envious... probably i'm still searching for myself.. who noes..i will never find it at all....

y e world like that...

Tot i will be happy but i'm not.. sometimes things n situations not in our control....

myabe i m to emotional....plz let everything pass....

Missing someone important

ohhhhhhhhhhhh i just came back from ntu i tell ,its so tough there lor.... OMG....one of the talks was on forensic medicine...n e doctor show us pictures of corpses ohhh....y they nv prepare us before hand..scared me stiff,kept crying for like 1hr with all e other jc people around...learnt a bit though E professor was so nice to treat us dinner for two daes ... n e other jc pple were like so envious of us...hahahaaha but i enjoyed myself alot..learnt alot of stuff there.ITs damn cool.... i wanted e labcoats so badly...if onli i could have it oh labs r so nice,imagine keep working in it nonstop ok..its been 2 weeks i havent seen someone around..mao also... i down with missing pple syndrome , esp e moose n mao it's like so long before i saw them ahhh..so sick oredi.. i want skl to start...but if skl start i will fall even more sick